
EXPLORe "GRATEFUL"
Album Summary. Song Descriptions, Song Lyrics
Release dates
Album Summary
For more than 35 years, my art has been largely focused on creating work that provides some analysis of the social, political and economic factors that impact everyday life. For decades, my artistic practice has reflected writer Arundhati Roy’s assertion in 2004 that artists need to pick a side and fight instead of being silent to society’s challenges because we have been seduced by the pursuit of wealth or fame.
What has shifted in my art and research over the past eight years is my focus on proposing solutions. This was succinctly expressed by visual artist Zak Ové who shared, at a talk that I attended in 2024, that he tries not to bleed on the canvas but to propose solutions instead. I have decades of experience metaphorically bleeding my pain and others’ pain into my art. It resonated with me deeply when Ové identified proposing solutions as his artistic philosophy. I was intentional in all of the songwriting in this album to do just that and it proved to be the most difficult and rewarding writing that I have ever done. My attention to solutions required a heightened degree of awareness during the lyric and music writing processes that yielded songs that are not naïvely positive but grounded in reflections gleaned from life experience. I continue to be inspired by Ové’s articulation and I feel called by the complex social, political, economic, and environmental uncertainties the world faces to propose some solutions through song.
I am a multidisciplinary artist but my first love is making music perhaps because it includes my second love, writing. Together music and words amplify and simplify one another and resonate deep within me like a prayer, or a mantra often with questions at its core: What do I want for myself, my family, communities, this world? How am I contributing? Artmaking is my vocation and when I listen to these 10 songs I feel like I’ve fulfilled my responsibility as an artist. I am proud of this music and of these lyrics. Written in the summer of 2024 and recorded that fall, the songs were produced by John Anthony Gagnon-Robinette of White Barn Studio, recorded by Luc Boivins at Red Tube Studio, and mixed and mastered by Luc Tellier. The musicians were Jason Promesse (drums), Neil Benskin (bass guitar), Joseph Shanahan (keyboard and piano), and Elijah Mansevani (acoustic and electric guitar). Promesse and Benskin have played on all of four of my albums (since 2001), while Shanahan and Mansevani have played on my last two albums. The 10 songs on this album most succinctly encapsulate my analysis as a human being who is an artist, woman, wife, scholar, and mother. I hope we can connect through these songs.
1
YOU ARE THE LIGHT
I wrote this for my children. I wanted to put in song one of the central lessons/understandings that I’ve gained from almost five decades of living the ebbs and flows of life. In my twenties I learned the importance of listening to myself and trusting what I knew to be true for me even if it seemed unconventional to others “Stay close to you, hear your whisper, you are free.” This song is also a mantra “No matter what you may face, know there’s a way.” One of the most difficult and unexpected realities of parenting is that you can’t fully protect your children from the harshness of life. What can I offer them instead? This song is an offering to them. What’s surprised me though, is that I’ve been singing the lyrics to myself lately, reminding myself to believe in myself and to listen to my heart, head and universe.
Verse 1
So much expectation, that we’ll all be the same, same, same
So much concentration, needed to conform
So much speculation, when we follow our own paths through
But so much aggravation, when we put ourselves last
Chorus 1
You are the light that we need
You are the light that we love love love
You are the light that we need
You are the light that we love
Verse 2
So much accusation, as they pile on the shame shame shame
So much manipulation, when we refuse the norm
So much intimidation, when we hold fast and stay true
But so much destruction, when we play narrow when we’re vast
Bridge
You are the light that we need, that we need
Stay close to you, hear your whispers, you are free
No matter what you may face know there’s a way
Chorus
You are the light that we need
You are the light that we love love love
You are the light that we need
You are the light that we love
Outro
You are the light that we need
2
ABCD
So many times in my life so far, on so many occasions I‘ve made plans, worked hard on plans, and failed at my plans. I was working through a particularly challenging time about eight years ago and I was struggling to find a way out. I literally wrote out multiple plans with contingency plans and pursued as many of them as I could. “Yes, we will fail, but we will rise, again,” I’ve had to remind myself of this more times that I can count. This song came to me too because as I reflected on where I’ve been and where I am I can honestly say that I don’t give up on myself and haven’t given up despite the many times I have had to forge a new path or try a new plan.
Chorus 1
Been through plan
Abcdefg ijklmnop
I don’t give up on me
I don’t give up on me
Verse 1
A – first round knockout, that I decree
B – I lay it out, dot “i”s cross “t”s
C – They’re no handouts, that is guaranteed
D – Creeping in doubt, not fancy-free
Chorus 2
Been through plan
Abcdefg ijklmnop
I don’t give up on me
I don’t give up on me
Verse 2
M – I start to pout, there is no money tree
N – call a timeout, sip some herbal tea
O – I won’t bailout, got more left in me
P – I go flat out, I’m the master key
Chorus
Been through plan
Abcdefg ijklmnop
I don’t give up on me
I don’t give up on me
Bridge
Yes, we will fail but we will rise again, triumph will be ours
Yes, we will fail but we will rise again, triumph will be ours
Chorus break down
Been through plan
Abcdefg ijklmnop
I don’t give up
Abcdefg ijklmnop
I don’t give up
Abcdefg ijklmnop
I don’t give up on me
I don’t give up on me
I don’t give up on me
I don’t give up on me
I don’t give up on me

3
BETTER THAN
Our last songwriting session. This chorus was all I could hear in my heart on the drive to John’s studio. I was filled with gratitude to have actually written nine songs that we both felt good about in the short time that we had together. I was grateful that I had managed to be an artist, mother, and professor through all of the sessions. It wasn’t perfect but it was without question “better than” so many other moments in my life. And with that realization came a degree of acceptance because this moment can only be better than others if I “accept all the valleys and I accept all the trials and tribulations faced”… all of it. This song is a prayer, like so many others on this album (and really this album as a whole). I was unsure about the song idea when I shared it with John, but he was immediately supportive and interested so we started working on it. I love this song now. It’s a reminder to me not to chase perfection but to instead focus on all that is “better than it’s ever been.”
Chorus 1
It’s better than it’s ever been, not perfect but better than
It’s better than it’s ever been, not perfect but better than
Verse 1
So, I accept all the valleys, oh
I accept all the trials and tribulations faced
And I have asked for forgiveness, oh
For some mistakes I have made
And I accept the disappointments, oh
I accept that life is full of challenge, none escape
I’m letting go of painful memories, oh
For the past cannot be changed
Chorus 2
It’s better than it’s ever been, not perfect but better than
It’s better than it’s ever been, not perfect but better than
Bridge
We know perfection is a lie, oh
It makes us hard to satisfy
All our best skills we must apply, oh
So, we can thrive, not just survive
Verse 2
So, I give thanks for second chances, oh
I give thanks for the shifts I’ve made, I’ve made, I’ve made
And I give thanks for new direction, oh
For the changes I have made
Chorus 3
It’s better than it’s ever been, not perfect but better than
It’s better than it’s ever been, not perfect but better than
Outro
It’s better than it’s ever been
4
LOVE AGAIN
The first song that came to me was the chorus of Love Again. I was in a hotel in Montreal the night before my first songwriting session with John. I was filled with doubt because I hadn’t arrived in Montreal with song ideas as much as I had tried to. I was afraid nothing would come and had to remind myself that it was beautiful, amazing, privilege to be able to make an album. The melody for the chorus and the words “Love Again” came first and the tempo was much slower than it ended up being. It’s a song about moving through the pain and hurt that sometimes comes with a change in the nature of a relationship, be it platonic or romantic “taken for granted not all love’s romantic I know” were the hardest lyrics to write for this song. I struggled for some time to figure out how to describe that within the structure of the melody.
Chorus 1
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again
Love again, love again, love again, love again, love again
Love again, love again, love again, love again, love again
Verse 1
Clung to you out of fear, held on so tight you let go
Taken for granted, not all love’s romantic I know, I cry, I cry, I cry
From down in the depths of a hurt that I cannot describe
When hope seems so far away, and a valley in life so low
I try and I try and I try ‘til my hope is revived, I try, I try, I try
Remember life has its reasons and seasons so thrive
Chorus 2
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again
Love again, love again, love again, love again, love again
Love again, love again, love again, love again, love again
Outro
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again
5
GRATEFUL
During that first writing session we spent time mapping out the structure of Love Again and I was feeling accomplished that we had made it through one song after not having completed any songs in over four years. My goal, though, was to sketch out a least two songs in that session. I was alone in John’s studio and was just feeling deeply grateful that I was able to make music again and that I had the chance to record songs again. I was recording the chorus into my phone when John walked into the room. He said something like “that’s how it happens?” “Just like that?” and I said something like “sometimes.” And we immediately started working on it and found its structure. I finished writing these lyrics in November on my last day in studio because I kept asking myself how someone experiencing a deep and challenging valley in life could sing along to a song that doesn’t recognize how difficult life can be. I rewrote the lyrics to “I will be grateful for today” so that it could be said as a hope, a declaration and a prayer. The verses were originally about my personal insecurities but international political tensions were high that November 2024 week in studio and speaking to that, as an artist, was so much more important than my own details.
Chorus 1
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again
Love again, love again, love again, love again, love again
Love again, love again, love again, love again, love again
Verse 1
Clung to you out of fear, held on so tight you let go
Taken for granted, not all love’s romantic I know, I cry, I cry, I cry
From down in the depths of a hurt that I cannot describe
When hope seems so far away, and a valley in life so low
I try and I try and I try ‘til my hope is revived, I try, I try, I try
Remember life has its reasons and seasons so thrive
Chorus 2
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again
Love again, love again, love again, love again, love again
Love again, love again, love again, love again, love again
Outro
I know that I can feel it, hear it, touch it, hold it, heal and love again

I was filled with doubt because I hadn’t arrived in Montreal with song ideas as much as I had tried to. I was afraid nothing would come and had to remind myself that it was a beautiful, amazing, privilege to be able to make an album.
6
BLOOD
IN THE RIVERS
Since I was a child my writing has reflected my thoughts about the larger cultural, economic and historical contexts that shape my life in particular, and society in general. I wanted to write a song that spoke to the many intersecting, difficult moments taking place around our world. I’ve always felt called to engage in these ways with my art. This song is a chant that uses familiar metaphors to contextualize the magnitude of this moment and reminds us that “only we can change, the way we live.” The words to this song came early, clearly, and relatively quickly. At first, I was concerned that it was cliché “We’re standing at the edge of the cliffs, we’re looking into the abyss” but at the same time the familiarity of those sayings felt effective for what I wanted to say with the song. I worried about repeating some of the words in the second verse but it just felt like a song where that repetition made sense.
Verse 1
We’re standing on the edge of the cliffs, we’re looking into the abyss
We’re standing on the edge of all hope, just look outside
Our world is weeping, our world is fighting
Our world is heaving, our world is in pain
Chorus 1
Blood in the rivers, blood in the seas
Blood in the rains, down on my knees
I pray, I pray, I pray
Verse 2
We’re standing on the edge of the cliffs, we’re looking into the abyss
We’re standing on the edge of all hope, just look inside
Only we can change, the way we think
Only we can change, the way we live
Chorus 2
Blood in the rivers, blood in the seas
Blood in the rains, down on my knees
I pray, I pray, I pray
Chorus 3
Blood in the rivers, blood in the seas
Blood in the rains, down on my knees
Blood in the rivers, blood in the seas
Blood in the rains, down on my knees
I pray, I pray, I pray
7
MOVE
I love dancehall music and I expect that I always will. I love the traditions of dancehall music that are deeply connected to and invested in articulating social, cultural, political challenges and offering a perspective on it that is most often and arguably effectively tied to imagining and articulating another way forward. The night before the songwriting session that led to this song was spent attending a discussion at an art gallery in Old Montreal. One of the panelists described the act of talking without action as “long talking.” That hit home for me. The vast majority of my work as a scholar over the past eight years has been focused on action – on conducting research that was not only for those in my field but also connected to and shared with the general public. Much of my career and life has been focused on action more than words so this song, in many ways, is an articulation of my personal, artistic, and academic philosophy. It’s also fun, which I’ve always loved about dancehall. But that said, it’s also very easy to get excited about making dancehall music when working with drum and bass players extraordinaire Jahsun and Bassone. Translated from Jamaican Patwa the words mean “they love to talk too much, but they don’t back it up. Tell them to go away, tell them to move. And when they talk too much, that’s not action. Tell them to go away. Tell them to move. // I’m not into the long talking, I only want to see action. They love to talk and do nothing. Tell them to go away, tell them to move.”
Intro
Naila come fi tell dem say
Chorus 1
Dem love fi chat too much, but dem nuh back it up
Tell dem fi gway gway gway, move
And when dem chat too much, a nuh action dat
Tell dem fi gway gway gway, move
Verse 1
Mi nuh inna di long talking, mi only wan see di action ting
Dem love fi chat nuff and do nothing, tell dem fi gway, tell dem fi move
Mi nuh inna di long talking, mi only wan see di action ting
Dem love fi chat nuff and do nothing, tell dem fi gway, tell dem fi move
Chorus 2
Dem love fi chat too much, but dem nuh back it up
Tell dem fi gway gway gway, move
And when dem chat so much, a nuh action dat
Tell dem fi gway gway gway, move
Bridge 1
We know that actions speak louder than words
We know that actions speak louder than words
Verse 2
Mi nuh inna di long talking, mi only waan see di action ting
Dem love fi chat nuff and do nothing, tell dem fi gway, tell dem fi move
Mi nuh inna di long talking, mi only waan see di action ting
Dem love fi chat nuff and do nothing, tell dem fi gway, tell dem fi move
Chorus 3
Dem love fi chat too much, but dem nuh back it up
Tell dem fi gway gway gway, move
And when dem chat so much, a nuh action dat
Tell dem fi gway gway gway, move
Bridge 2
We know that actions speak louder than words
We know that actions speak louder than words
Verse 3
Mi nuh inna di long talking, mi only waan see di action ting
Dem love fi chat nuff and do nothing, tell dem fi gway, tell dem fi move
Chorus 4
Dem love fi chat too much, but dem nuh back it up
Tell dem fi gway gway gway, move
And when dem chat so much, a nuh action dat
Tell dem fi gway gway gway, move

We talk often about the images of girls and women circulated online and the kinds of insecurities and distorted senses of self these images can foster.
I worked hard on these lyrics, trying to encapsulate my research as a feminist scholar, my hopes and dreams for my daughter and for me as a woman who still has dreams of her own.
8
I KNOW
On the fourth day of my songwriting sessions with John, I asked my daughter what I should write a song about. What needs to be said? I asked. She suggested I write about all the conversations we have about the pressures and expectations placed on girls and women by society at large. We talk often about the images of girls and women circulated online and the kinds of insecurities and distorted senses of self these images can foster. I worked hard on these lyrics, trying to encapsulate my research as a feminist scholar, my hopes and dreams for my daughter and as a woman who still has dreams of her own. The chorus originally ended at “to be who we came to be” but before we went into studio I told John that we needed to add “to do what we came to do” which is unusual because it made the chorus five bars instead of four. Unconventional? Yes. But as a writer, I needed to specify that we, as girls and women, can be who we came to be and do what we came to do. I am grateful to have a producer who was nonplused by the unconventional.
Verse 1
We’re not a fantasy, some manmade mystery
We’re not an illusion, not here for confusion
We’re not some object, to measure and dissect
We’re not a puppet on a string, not easy to fling
Chorus 1
I know what it is to be a woman, I know what it is to be a girl
We can refuse and we can choose
To be who we came to be and do what we came to do
Verse 2
We’re not a tragedy, awaiting a calvary
We’re not a conclusion, not here for exclusion
We’re not some defect, to critique and correct
We’re not a pretty play thing, on an arm to swing
Chorus 2
I know what it is to be a woman, I know what it is to be a girl
We can refuse and we can choose
To be who we came to be and do what we came to do
Chorus 3
I know what it is to be a woman, I know what it is to be a girl
We can refuse and we can choose
To be who we came to be and do what we came to do
9
I PRAYED FOR A SIGN
My husband and I met in 2003. Our connection was deep and immediate. We talked for hours. He challenged me intellectually in ways that I had never been before. He also had a wide range of interests and was independent. He was interesting and funny and principled and smart. I fell quickly and deeply in love. There was something new and familiar at the same time and “I prayed for a sign because I’m the praying kind.” We were by a small pond in a park one evening and we kissed. I felt transported. It was magical. “Then my lips touched yours, I was reassured it was you, always you.” We got married in 2005 and we now have a 15-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son. I’m grateful for the love we share and the life we’ve carved out for ourselves and our family.
Intro
I prayed I prayed I prayed oh for a sign
Chorus 1
I prayed for a sign because I’m the praying kind
So, I prayed for a sign, a sign
Then my lips touched yours I was reassured
It was you, always you
Verse 1
Those fairy tales, so many lies
They promised a billion butterflies
Oh those fairy tales, so many lies
They taught me that, I had to hide
But with you, I could be me
Oh with you, I could feel free
Chorus 2
I prayed for a sign because I’m the praying kind
So, I prayed for a sign, a sign
Then my lips touched yours I was reassured
It was you, always you
Bridge
It was you, you, it was you
It was you, always you
Chorus open
I prayed for a sign because I’m the praying kind
So, I prayed for a sign, a sign
Then my lips touched yours, I was reassured
It was you, always you
It was you, always you
10
SO MUCH
It was July and I was heading to John’s studio from my hotel thinking about so many things, including what to do with my two kids over the summer months, my research work as a professor, personal commitments and on and on and on. How was I going to juggle all of the pieces, what had I gotten myself into, why did I think I could actually do this? And I was questioning if I could actually deliver and write two songs that day given that, once again, I didn’t have any song ideas despite having tried hard. On the way to the elevator, I started repeating “So much, the pressure’s so much, right now it’s too much, today it’s too much.” I had a hard time recording the second verse. It had a tight melody with lots of triplets and I couldn’t figure out how to get all the words in. Eventually I just said it old school, me-circa-2001-spoken-word-style. I wasn’t focused on melody. It felt right for this song because the words themselves were so much that they spilled out of the constraints of a melody. This is the most explicitly personal song on this album. It’s the story of expectations, ones put on me by others and ones I have chosen myself. It’s also part mantra that has held me through so many rough spots “You will get through take a moment to just believe in you.”
Chorus 1
So much, the pressure’s so much
I feel it so much, could call it too much
So much, the pressure’s so much,
Right now it’s so much, could call it too much
Verse 1
All our dreams all our plans they equal demands
on our time, on our minds, on our bodies
Mother, daughter, wife, friend, family chosen blood tight,
career, job, professional, fire woman
persevere and push myself, trying to outdo myself,
focus for years on end, bar set, met and raised again.
Bar set, met and raised again. Bar set, met, and raised again.
Is that success?
Chorus 2
So much, the pressure’s so much
I feel it so much, could call it too much
So much, the pressure’s so much,
Right now, it’s so much, could call it too much
Bridge
You will get through, breath deep and release, yes I promise you – you can make it through
You will get through, take a moment to, just believe in you – you can make it through
Verse 2
My parents immigrated, left it all for future generations, aspirations, working so hard for so long. At times don’t know how to stop, most times living the pressures of their wildest dreams deferred, knowing money alone not success to them, must be a good citizen,
lift others higher, impact community. “Each generation is supposed to get better,” I can hear my grandma’s voice “How do you serve?”
Chorus 2
So much, the pressure’s so much
I feel it so much, could call it too much
So much, the pressure’s so much,
Right now, it’s so much, could call it too much
Bridge
We will get through, breath deep and release, yes I promise you – we can make it through
We will get through, take a moment to, just believe in you – we can make it through
Chorus 3
So much, the pressure’s so much
I feel it so much, could call it too much
So much, the pressure’s so much,
Right now, it’s so much, could call it too much
Chorus 5
So much
We can make it, we can make it, make it through